Killing with Kindness
Some of you may not have experienced the pleasure of witty etiquette and killing others with kindness. My hero, Miss Manners (Judith Martin), lives this life, and I have tried to follow in her footsteps.
Here are some favorites from the article in the above link:
On the language of rude behavior:
Even the lexicon of rudeness one hears these days is explicitly violent, although the specific words are usually sexual. (Does anyone know why such a nice practice as sex should have to supply the words for uncontrolled hostility? Maybe it would be better that this not be explained to Miss Manners.)
On missionaries and other self-helped who seek to help others:
People have even offered to help Miss Manners find God, Who Miss Manners hadn't realized was lost.
On correcting others:
When Miss Manners observes people behaving rudely, she behaves politely to them, and then goes home and snickers about them afterward. That is what the well-bred person does. The only way to enjoy the fun of catching people behaving disgustingly is to have children.
Why, you might ask, do I have Miss Manners on the brain? Because I met her!! I arrived at her book reading/signing one hour and 45 minutes before it started so I could find out when they would set up the chairs. I came back 45 minutes later to get a good seat, then I waited another hour, in anxious anticipation, of being in my master's aura. She arrived looking exactly like she's suppose to look, and she gave a wonderful talk. Then she answered our questions. When she got to me, I blushed up to my hairline and blurted out, "You're such a wonderful writer!" then I continued with my pre-planned question about Anthony Trollope and what other writers she admires (yes, I was trying to set myself apart and it worked! every other person asked an etiquette question--one woman admitted that was the reason she had come). Anyway, despite others' lack of understanding of the importance and brilliance of Miss Manners' writing, the experience as a whole was AWESOME! She signed three books for me, and was impressed that I had an old paperback edition of her guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior. I didn't even mind that I missed the finale of America's Next Top Model.
Here are some favorites from the article in the above link:
On the language of rude behavior:
Even the lexicon of rudeness one hears these days is explicitly violent, although the specific words are usually sexual. (Does anyone know why such a nice practice as sex should have to supply the words for uncontrolled hostility? Maybe it would be better that this not be explained to Miss Manners.)
On missionaries and other self-helped who seek to help others:
People have even offered to help Miss Manners find God, Who Miss Manners hadn't realized was lost.
On correcting others:
When Miss Manners observes people behaving rudely, she behaves politely to them, and then goes home and snickers about them afterward. That is what the well-bred person does. The only way to enjoy the fun of catching people behaving disgustingly is to have children.
Why, you might ask, do I have Miss Manners on the brain? Because I met her!! I arrived at her book reading/signing one hour and 45 minutes before it started so I could find out when they would set up the chairs. I came back 45 minutes later to get a good seat, then I waited another hour, in anxious anticipation, of being in my master's aura. She arrived looking exactly like she's suppose to look, and she gave a wonderful talk. Then she answered our questions. When she got to me, I blushed up to my hairline and blurted out, "You're such a wonderful writer!" then I continued with my pre-planned question about Anthony Trollope and what other writers she admires (yes, I was trying to set myself apart and it worked! every other person asked an etiquette question--one woman admitted that was the reason she had come). Anyway, despite others' lack of understanding of the importance and brilliance of Miss Manners' writing, the experience as a whole was AWESOME! She signed three books for me, and was impressed that I had an old paperback edition of her guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior. I didn't even mind that I missed the finale of America's Next Top Model.
posted by Lady Ursula at 10:45 PM
7 Comments:
Horrifying. She's like the Sith lord, with you her dark Sith apprentice.
Fabulous. She's like a Goddess, with you her ... co-goddess. How ever did you decide what to wear?
Amanda, I wore what I wore to work, which I did put more than a little thought into (unlike most of the hippies there--jeans and sweatshirts!). Not very polite or respectful to dress like runts and solicit free advice. But maybe it's just me...
Logan, I think we're more like Jaba and Lea.
That's "Jabba" and "Leia." Holy crap. Did I just actually correct you on your Star Wars spelling? And here I thought I was turning 29, not 9.
Lo, it's easier when you've seen the names on the action figure packaging. Don't feel bad about it. Many people try to hold on to their youth as they approach the 3-0. Like me, hanging out with my young-and-hip friend Logan.
I can't believe you met Miss Manners! And that you busted out the Anthony Trollope! Troy Boone would be so proud.
I am hoping you will share your story.
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